To my daughter, I mean to you random person on the internet:
Several people encouraged me to write this blog…so thanks! I will attempt to bring you honor.
Why I am writing: For the last seven years, yes I said seven, I have been on an epic weight loss journey. Not epic in the successful King Arthur way, but more epic like in the Charlie Chaplin, trip over your pants, kind of way. Go watch Almost Heroes with Chris Farley, you’ll know what I mean, and it is just a great movie. You know what just stop reading, and seriously go watch that movie—you need to.
Back to me! Losing the equivalent weight of a preteen cheerleader has been slow and painful process—she wasn’t very nice, and I have had a gazillion number of setbacks. But here it is; I am putting it out there.
Since 2005 I have lost 100lbs.
That’s a middle schooler.
I know because in middle school when they weighed the girl in front of me she weighed that much…then they weighed me. Needless to say I did weigh that much plus an extra hundred pounds. Embarrassing…yea. More embarrassing was that they still read our weight out loud in 1998…I am pretty sure that constitutes bullying now--any takers for my legal defense team.
Anyways, what can I say? I love to eat. I STILL love to eat. I eat because I am happy, sad, mad, laughing, in the car, sometimes I even get on the treadmill with an apple in my hand (you've done it). I LOVE FOOD.
So you will find lots of healthy and fun tips in this blog—and lots of ways to laugh at the fact that eating well and moving more is as hard as hardtack (I was a history major in college—and that’s what people ate on long boat trips…consider yourself smarter today for knowing that).
I also just finished up graduate school; I have a great job (well several jobs) because I got bills to pay. So! I have to come up with fun creative ways to stretch a buck because working with a student loan budget makes some things in this life more difficult than others. For example, my coffee addiction, and by coffee I mean a venti, skinny (sugar free, nonfat) cinnamon dolce l latte, (while I am not proud) is monetarily unsustainable. I disgust myself. But, in a moment of personal privilege, what disgusts me even more are the death stares I receive when my coffee isn’t prepared correctly, and I complain.
A Note to my lovely Baristas,
Listen, I know it’s not an easy job to work in the service industry. I served two small children for eight years, and I never got their coffee order wrong believe you me. But seriously, I am not trying to be a jerk barista baby, I love you (remember the nickel I just put in your tip jar prior to service). Please understand, however, that me getting full fat milk in my coffee instead of nonfat=a life I have abandoned since they mad me weigh myself in front of the other kids at school, and since you don’t have the time to hear my life story—then just remake my coffee. Remember I love you like a mug likes hot coffee…a latte.
Now a few things I must confess to you my beautiful reader that I do in order to cultivate a skinny (note it is not perfectly healthy but kinda) lifestyle—Please note: I am not proud of all of these things…
1. I go through a two-pound bag of mini carrots each week…call me a rabbit (I am not offended), call me a horse and I will break you.
2. I go to Jason’s Deli once a week and pack a salad bar to go. It lasts three meals ($8), and I like the variety.
3. I always go to the farmers market (even if I don’t buy anything). It is fun to look around, and it is a great workout.
4. I drink a lot of diet soda and coffee (either with skim milk or black with sweetener)…I am also convinced I will be a case study for aspartame poisoning (at least I’ll be at a healthy weight?)
5. I limit myself to dark chocolate. Not because it is good for me, but because if I eat it then I don’t want anymore. Milk chocolate, however, I will demolish…set a bag of mini twix in front of me and I will prove it.
6. I avoid ordering pizza because I will eat the entire box and probably the delivery guy’s arm. Sometimes I splurge and grab one slice at an eatery.
7. I try to drink water. Not a specific amount just a lot.
8. I workout 6 days a week. I know you are saying, “what? I don’t have time.” Stop reading my blog and go walk around. You do have time, and once you know how long it will take to work off that sleeve of thin mints, you might not eat the entire sleeve. Save a fav TV show or listen to that podcast or an audiobook while you bust a move. You can do this—the Jersey Shore even tells you this is important.
9. Last…for now. I eat a bit of everything…I don’t cut off anything in particular. I take it one skinny decision at a time.
Here’s my latest crockpot victory:
I call it…
Skinny Mexican Blackbean Chicken
In a 1.5 quart crockpot combine the following:
15 oz. can organic blackbeans
15 oz. can organic diced tomatoes
8 oz. organic chicken breast (boneless and skinless)
2 laughing cow queso cheese wedges
2 ½ cups frozen peppers (blended variety is fine)
salt to taste
Cute! The journey is never ending and difficult! Keep up the good work!
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